when she got into the cab, closed the rear door, I felt my heart was at that place where bumped. She still waved her hands when the damn engineer noise died away, while I walked in the opposite direction desperately.

It was 19:54pm October 11th, I lowered down my eyesight at the same time I drew out my cell phone from the front pocket of my jeans. 66 minutes advanced than she promised. Frankly, I really don’t know I was sad about her abrupt leave or felt lucky for getting rid of the exhausting countdown game. However I was suffering… so much…. (Hey tianya, I wasn’t and will never be mad at you. If you saw this words, please don’t blame yourself and say sorry to me. It’s always my fault, my natural flaw, greed.)

I am sad, I am lost, I am annoyed, but I am okay. I can enjoy everything, including those negative feelings, injuries, failures. Does that word flash through your mind just now? Freak? Yes, exactly, I am a completely and mentally invincible freak. haha, you see? I would be happy like a new-bore baby and act nearly no differences as before when eating crabs with my snowboarding guys tomorrow, except I miss her more.

Time came back to October 1^st. it was a beautiful day, sunny, a little breeze, not hot and the most important, not humid. I hate it so much that I will never love shanghai.

When she was looking around on the other side of luoshan road, I watched her across the road, waiting for her to fix her eyes on me. 15 seconds later, we smiled at the same time.15 seconds is too long, 3 persons is all she could see alive, but that’s cute.

It was the first time we met, lasting 5 hours. Wonderful, just like the weather. When she talked about the mouse her friend raising and the bird she has owned, I saw the most beautiful face in the world. She was so excited and fascinated about cute animals, I cannot be like that even Catheline was naked in front of me. When she told me about the artist who has made cover for lots of famous building and also a beach in Australia, she had a serious face. When she said she failed in the chemistry exam, I felt her disappointing because she told her classmates she could pass even didn’t buy the book written by their chemistry teacher…. It was so great to have a vivid tianya in my face after 8 years emailing history….   ( to be continue maybe)

whatever you guys take this post as, a novel, a piece of autobiography, a bullshit, anything you like… I don’t know if I will come back and write on, or delete all my blogs, I don’t care…. I just miss you, tianya, miss you so much sweet.